First, let me say “Happy Father’s Day” to all the dads reading this! I am not only a father, but a grandfather and great grandfather, so I appreciate this remembrance of those who fathered, and particularly those who loved and raised their children.

In season 17, episode four of the hit Canadian television show, "Heartland," Jack Bartlett, the patriarch of the clan, played by Sean Johnson, made this metaphoric statement to his son-in-law, Tim Fleming concerning troubled family relationships:

“If you want the puzzle to fit together, don’t force the pieces into place.”

But this metaphor has been around for a long time in various forms.

In a Time Magazine article, Dec. 31, 1979, is an excerpt on page 70 from "Smiley’s People," published that year by John le Carré. Here is a snippet from that except:

“Don’t force the pieces,” he warned himself. Patience.

This book became a best seller, and enjoyed several printings. It seems to be the earliest mention of the metaphor, and likely propelled it to popular usage.

In a book titled "Your Past Lives …" by Michael Talbot, 1987, we read on page 34:

“If no larger picture immediately jumps out at you, be patient and don’t force the pieces together.”

Talbot uses basically the same verbiage here, which may have been picked up from reading le Carré’s book, including the reference to patience.

Among several internet articles, this one sums up the true meaning of this thought-provoking metaphor. Relationship consultant Arjun Vijayan used a form of it in his online forum, Medium, in an article titled "Solving the Puzzle of Life" on June 21, 2021 in relation to putting a jigsaw puzzle together, which he then likened to the puzzle of life:

“Don’t force a fit when you think a certain piece should go together: you want them to go together but if you force them together it will ruin your entire puzzle, your entire goal, your entire vision.

“This is true of relationships, hobbies or lifestyles or trying to force teammates or force your children into certain sports or force them to learn a certain way that doesn’t fit them.”

If you have a phrase you would like to see featured here, please text Stan at 931-212-3303 or email him at stan@stclair.net