It would be predictable for me to moan and complain about being tossed aside in my annual quest to be named Best of the Best Newspaper Columnist.
It's with sadness and infinite sorrow that I've been denied this coveted distinction for the 11th straight year. But at least nobody is counting.
So I'm not going to dwell on this rather glaring oversight. Instead, I'm moving on, nothing more to see here folks.
One thing I can say about Best of the Best is the special section is a definite conversation piece. Folks who never say a word to me about the newspaper all year will make comments about Best of the Best and I enjoy this feedback.
In publishing this year's special section I would like to congratulate all the winners and also take a glimpse ahead to next year. Yes, this is like asking the coach about next year while he's in the middle of the field accepting the Super Bowl trophy, but why not?
With an eye of adding some new spice to next year's Best of the Best, we will be creating some new categories. While this is still very much in the discussion phase, one of those categories under consideration is Best Coach.
With all the performers we have in this community, I think there should also be a category for Best Singer. This would be a hotly contested race where I'm confident hundreds of votes would be cast.
If we want to continue to emphasize individual talent, I'd like to see a category for Best Guitarist. How about Best Golfer? Best Cook?
We seem to have categories for just about every restaurant menu item from Best Wings to Best Steaks. But we don't have a category for Best Salsa, which should be corrected.
Having gotten my first taste of live theater with a recent role in "High School Musical," I think there should be a category for Best Actor. And, to be fair to all us amateurs, Logan Taylor should be excluded because he would win every year.
Dissecting the Best of the Best contest even further, there were 166 total categories this year representing just about everything. But somehow, for more than 20 years, we have neglected perhaps the most intriguing category of all, that being Best Bikini Body.
I might not be able to convince Standard publisher Pat Zechman to go along with that category, but how about something a little more tame. How about Best Looking? This could be divided up, perhaps even having a division for the middle aged like Best Looking Over 40.
Based on preliminary talks, some categories are going to be retired next year. There's no reason to have Best Skating Rink and Best Movie Theater when this town only has one of each. No suspense there.
All that being said, enjoy this year's Best of the Best publication and look forward to changes on the horizon for next year. I may drop my annual push to be named Best Columnist and shift to something that would be more gratifying like Best Rock n' Roll Singer.
Standard editor James Clark can be reached at 473-2191.