I should say right from the start I don't think they named April Fools Day in my honor.
Today is a day where it's vital to remember to believe nothing and trust no one. So I guess it's much like any other day.
It's been said babies who were born on March 31 are the easiest to prank on April Fools. That's because they were literally born yesterday.
Here at the Standard, former ace reporter Chuck Dodson has achieved folklore status for a prank he engineered decades ago. Chuck found a Matchbox car that looked very realistic and put it in a pothole. He took the picture in such a way that it looked like the car was swallowed up by an enormous crater.
Standard readers who saw this on the front might have been alarmed for a moment. But Chuck let them off the hook on an inside page where he announced "April Fools" and revealed the car in the crater was all a practical joke.
I don't know if such April Fools Day mischief would be appreciated the same way today. With everyone ready to jump all over the media at any possible chance, it would just give people more ammunition to say how horrible we are.
Standard publisher Pat Zechman asked me first thing Thursday morning about possible April Fools pranks that might be in today's edition.
"It's not happening," I said.
She seemed very happy with that.
When it comes to April Fools Day, my dad can smile and say he got me good. He pulled off a perfect prank when I was a teenager and a member of the famed BMG Music Club.
Many folks may remember this club because it allowed you to buy eight tapes or CDs for just 1 cent, but you had to buy a certain number of tapes from them "at regular club prices" for the next couple years.
Turns out, my wife Cupcake is a member of such a clothing club today. She's sent a different outfit each month and she can keep it and pay, or return it and pay nothing. So that's how she's getting all those new clothes without ever leaving the house.
Anyway, I was eagerly awaiting my next BMG tape order, because that's what kids do, and I couldn't understand why it was taking so long. Unbeknown to me, the tapes had already arrived while I was at school and my dad grabbed the package. He was holding onto it until April 1.
He carefully opened the box, took my tapes out, then put in three lousy tapes from his collection in there. Then he carefully re-sealed the box using a glue gun so it was back together tight.
When I bounced in from school on that April Fools afternoon, my BMG tapes had arrived! I swooped in to grab the box and wrestled it open. I saw the tapes and gasped.
"This stupid club has sent me the wrong tapes," I proclaimed wondering how such a mistake had happened. It never dawned on me the box had been opened and re-sealed.
My dad let me off the hook, hours later, with a huge April Fools grin. He got me better than I've ever gotten anyone else on April Fools.
Standard editor James Clark can be reached at 473-2191.