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Re Porter - Movie theater monsters
bethany porter

I think I am no longer able to be a functioning member of society. That or maybe I am one of the few functioning members left. I’m not sure which. I saw “Thor: Love and Thunder” Friday night and I think it was pretty good, but my viewing experience was a zero out of 10. 

I love going to the movies and I used to love going on opening night to see the newest blockbuster, but now I don’t think I can ever go back to an opening night movie in town again thanks to the people. I truly think everyone has lost their minds and forgotten how to act in a movie theater. I had to keep asking my friends if I was being a crazy person for getting so annoyed, but they said I was justified so here we go. 

Half of the people came in the theater late and this continued like 30 minutes into the movie. The way the theater is set up, when people come in late and stand in the aisle forever looking for a seat they block the people on the side rows. I was one of the people on the side row who was lucky enough to watch people search in the dark for their seats instead of watching the movie. 

One of the latecomers and his buddy sat right behind me. Fine, whatever, EXCEPT these two were some of the worse movie offenders. They were the play-by-play giving, laugh-at-everything, clap-laughing, seat-kickers. I knew I was going to have a problem with Sir Laughs A Lot when about 20 minutes in the character Darcy came on the screen and he literally went, “DARCYYYYY!” Yeah dude, we all saw her calm down. This trend continued throughout the ENTIRE movie. 

Someone also brought a baby in the theater. I am not an expert on babies, but I am pretty sure Thor isn’t for them and that they cry a lot. So thanks a lot for subjecting us all to that. Appreciate it. 

The people in front of us played musical chairs for most of the movie. The two directly in front of me I can only assume were on their honeymoon or that he had just got back from war based on the way they kept making out. Awesome. 

What really pushed me over the edge was when I witnessed one of the biggest movie theater no no’s. I heard someone talking on their phone. One of the musical chair morons had gotten up from their seat and instead of going, I don’t know, into the lobby like a normal person he stood by the door in the theater taking a phone call. What the heck?

At this point I was over it. I was so blown away by everyone’s bad behavior that all I could do was laugh. The guy behind me continued laughing at everything and clapping loudly in my ear when he thought something was super funny. He kept making comments loudly to his buddy about the movie and I was counting the minutes until it was over.

It is OK to enjoy yourself at a movie, but at least be considerate of others. From now on I think I will be going to Murfreesboro for a 10 a.m. showing of the newest movies to avoid this disaster in the future. 

Standard reporter Bethany Porter can be reached at 473-2191.