Dear readers,I want to sincerely apologize for the (pick one) racist, sexist, homophobic, ethnic, vulgar, misinformed, false and/or insulting remark in last week's column. I was completely at fault and even though I was (pick one) heavily medicated, drunk, having a bipolar episode, stressed out, addicted to painkillers, on steroids, butt-dialing, autocorrected, unintentionally plagiarizing, going through a painful divorce and/or hearing voices, there is simply no excuse for that kind of hurtful statement. I blame no one but myself, even though several of my highly paid (pick one) Jewish, black, Arab, Native American, Asian, or female editors could have asked for a rewrite at any time, and none of them did.
My sincerest generic apology