Age is just a number and mine is unlisted.
I heard that joke and laughed so hard. It would have received an LOL post on Facebook, a laughing emoji or maybe both.
Bar none, "I remember when the Dead Sea was only sick" is my favorite old age joke.
There are perks to being over 50. I found a list online to prove it.
The perks of being over 50 and my responses to them:
• Kidnappers aren't very interested in you. I, for one, am thankful for this one.
• In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. See above comment.
• No one expects you to run a marathon. Thank goodness, because that will not happen. If you see me running, there’s a mugger chasing me. Please, call 911.
• People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?" My response will be, “Yes, you did.”
• People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. I was blissfully unaware that anyone thought such about me.
• There is nothing left to learn the hard way. Another, thank goodness.
• Things you buy now won't wear out. My favorite clothes won’t wear out? Blessing!
• You can eat dinner at 4 p.m. Excuse me, because I already do this. If I’m hungry, I eat.
• You keep hearing about other people’s operations. Aww. Let’s take this one off the list, please.
• You get into heated arguments about pension plans. Say it isn’t so, please!
• You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it. This is a good thing. Party!!!
• You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. Are they just suggestions?
• You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. No comment.
• You sing along with elevator music. I will not.
• Your eyes won't get much worse. Hallelujah!
• Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. I’ll be happy if the investment in my health with healthy eating and exercise pays off.
• Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather Service. My next career plans.
• Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either. I’ve always believed that three people can keep a secret if two of them are dead.
• Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size. The Southern in me says, “Bless it!”
• You can't remember where you read this list. I do not remember where I read this list.
When it comes to growing older, it’s always best to look on the brighter side. Find that silver lining and hold onto it like you’ve found a floatation device in turbulent water.
Standard reporter Lisa Hobbs can be reached at 473-2191.