Birthdays are life’s participation awards. Here’s a short and sweet to someone’s special day.
My fiancé, Doug, turns 53 on Aug. 27. A lot has changed since 1969. What hasn’t is the candle limit per square foot of cake. Anyone got a flatbed truck I can borrow and maybe a fire extinguisher? The older you get, the more you need to keep a fire extinguisher close to the cake.
Getting old is unavoidable. What should be avoided at Doug's age is certain types of auctions. When you go to an antique auction at his age, people will bid on him. Disclaimer to the winner: he was born to be a pessimist. His blood type is B Negative.
"Back in the day" is now a phrase you should really resist saying. Once you’re old enough to use it with any legitimacy behind it, your back probably goes out more than you do.
However, if we must, we must. Back in Doug's day there were arcades, phone booths, full-service gas stations, road maps and the potential of getting lost, typewriters, alarm clocks, encyclopedias, library cards, calculators, Walkman, 8 track tapes, rotary phones, landlines, party lines, TV stations signing off at night with the national anthem, and people getting film developed.
Indeed, a lot of things have changed since 1969. Entirely, or to a large degree, these things have become obsolete. Not you, Doug. You’re not out-of-date. However, let’s err on the side of caution. If you decided to take a nap, please tell someone. We don’t want to bury you by accident.
Just keepin’ it real. Did you know that you’re three months older than Wendy’s? Dave Thomas opened his first restaurant in November 1969. You have something in common with the home of Old Fashioned Burgers … Well, two out of three isn’t bad.
What goes up and never comes down? Your age and anything attached to that many helium-filled balloons at one time. A few more and they can lift a 2,000-pound, 16x16-foot yellow house. We’ve all seen the movie “Up.”
I could have given Doug a Hallmark card. Hallmark: when you care enough to send the very best, but you don’t care enough to write something yourself. Maybe I’m going for Fiancé of the Year recognition. I’ll definitely thank all the losers in my acceptance speech.
My 53rd birthday was April 7. We were both born in 1969. Doug is 4.5 months younger. He continues to insist that this makes me a cougar. Less than five months does not a cougar make, but I do have claws.
Happy birthday, Doug. I hope this year is amazing. When someone near and dear to you turns another year older, you want to do everything you can to make their day extra memorable. I hope this column helps. I love you.
Standard reporter Lisa Hobbs can be reached at 473-2191.