I found a website, howstuffworks.com, which determines your ability to survive. I ranked as an expert, it said, scoring better than most quiz takers.
Among the questions:
• If you are in a survival situation and have no matches or lighter, how will you make a fire? 1) Wait for lightning to strike; 2) Forget about it; 3) Make a bow drill.
• Before leaving for a day hike or a weekend camping trip, what is the most important thing you can do to ensure your safety? 1) Take your cellphone with you; 2) Take your dog with you; 3) Tell someone where you’re going and when you plan to return.
• Could you really eat bugs and worms if you are lost and starving? 1) Eww, no, gross. 2) Of course you can, if you can get them down; 3) Only if you cook them first.
• What is a handy source of condensed protein to take hiking or camping? 1) Grubs and larvae; 2) Fish eyes and tails; 3) Jerky.
• What should you do if you are lost in the woods and you encounter a bear? 1) Climb the nearest tree; 2) Stay calm and back away; 3) Run, Forrest, run.
• If you are lost and hungry, what is an easy source of protein, even if you don’t really want to get grubby finding it? 1) A deer; 2) Grub worms; 3) Fish.
• If you are lost in the woods, what can you build in about 15-20 minutes to get some sleep without being exposed to the night air? 1) A log cabin; 2) A lean-to; 3) A hammock.
• If you are lost and starving, can you eat a rattlesnake? 1) No, rattlesnakes are venomous; 2) You can’t eat any kind of snake meat; 3) Yes, just carefully remove the head.
• If you need to follow a waterway downstream, what is the best way to do it? 1) Walk along the bank; 2) Use your pants for a life vest and float down it; 3) Make a raft from logs.
• If lost in the wild, you may become extremely hungry and tempted to try unknown vegetation (like mushrooms and berries). Why is this not a good idea? 1) It could be poisonous mushroom or berry. 2) It might have bugs on it. 3) It might be a hallucinogenic mushroom.
• What is a good item to carry, that takes up virtually no room to at all, that is very handy to have if it rains while you are hiking or camping? 1) Rain gear. 2) A tent. 3) A garbage bag.
• How can you cook your food, once you have caught it? 1) On a spit over the fire. 2) In an empty soda can. 3) In a skillet.
A personal favorite: What are the three most important things you will need to survive in the wilderness, if no one knows where you are? 1) Shelter, water, food. 2) Beer, cigarettes, pizza. 3) Shelter, fire, water.
Yes, I scored high when it came to answering questions. Most were common sense. No, I do not believe I could survive alone in the wilderness. I barely make it until 9 a.m. without coffee. Modern conveniences, that’s my way of life.
Standard reporter Lisa Hobbs can be reached at 473-2191.