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Family Man 4-19
'Some assembly' means headaches
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The words “Some Assembly Required” is more than a statement on a box – it’s a warning label – a warning that there will be busted knuckles, frazzled nerves, spiking blood pressure and words uttered from your mouth that you will have to repent for.First off, let me just say the people who write directions for assembly are either idiots who don’t know what they’re doing or deranged lunatics who take pleasure in knowing the folks who buy the product won’t have the slightest idea how to read the directions. Let’s not even get into the drawings as they are most often the work of “artists” with the stickman artistic skills of a 7-year-old (my apologies to 7-year-olds).With this in mind, I get a call from my brother-in-law this past week, asking for some assistance in assembling something.“Hey, you want to come out and help me assemble the new grill we got?” Chaz says, the word “assembly” immediately sending up red flags given my storied battles with assembling things like basketball goals, trampolines, and other children’s toys.“Sure,” I reply.