We have some weird discussions here in the Southern Standard’s editorial room. While I am bound by an unofficial oath of silence, I am going to give you a snippet by telling you this: Someone mentioned what he thought was the cheesiest pickup line ever.
The comment got me to thinking about pickup lines people should think twice before using. How about “I bet you $20 you’re going to turn me down.” I feel this is the worst pickup line in history. You will probably lose $20 and still not get a date. If you use this line, go ahead and make that “L” symbol on your forehead with your hand. Bless it! Spend that money taking yourself out to dinner and a movie.
I got these from www.gotlines.com:
• “I want our love to be like pi, irrational and never ending.” OK, this pickup line will only work if you are dealing with someone smart. At best, it’s a test of their IQ. Someone could easily think you meant “pie.” Then, they could get lost in a daze trying to figure out which pie is irrational and never ending. I bet it's mincemeat pie. Nasty!
• “Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?” The person is going to suggest you keep on walking. If your pickup line includes an out, they are going to take it. Stop at the comma on this one.
• “Are you Google? Because I’ve just found what I’ve been searching for.” It might be time to delete your user history or switch to using Bing for your search engine. Google doesn’t seem to be working for you.
• “I hope you know CPR because you take my breath away!” This will only work if you are a paramedic, firefighter, lifeguard, etc.
• “What are you doing for the rest of your life? Because I want to spend it with you.” I’m not sure who would use this as a pickup line. It seems a bit strong for someone you just met. A stalker, maybe?
• “Is there a science room nearby, or am I just sensing the chemistry between us?” This pickup line reminds me of my biology teacher in college I thought was so cute. It could work for him, but maybe not for anyone else.
• “I’m not trying to impress you or anything, but … I’m Batman!” OK, this one might work. It’s funny. If you can get a girl to laugh, that’s never a bad thing.
• “Are you religious? ‘Cause you’re the answer to all my prayers.” Your luck you will pick the only atheist in the room. Teenagers these days call that an epic fail.
• “You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.” Didn’t Weird Al Yankovic use this line in one of his comedy songs? Let’s leave it there.
• “If I followed you home, would you keep me?” If this happens to you, the number for the Warren County Animal Control is 507-3647 and the city’s is 473-2553.
Standard reporter Lisa Hobbs can be reached at 473-2191.