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Warner's World 6-4
Get to stepping
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I’ve been the self-confessed, don’t-turn-down-the-last-donut guy for the last two years now, and it’s starting to weigh on me … quite literally.
Yes, I’ve joined the ranks of the BMI obese as our latest tests have shown, although I have been in self-denial, calling myself stocky like Elaine on "Seinfeld" describes George Costanza to a potential date.
“You mean he’s fat,” is the reply, to which Elaine does her best to dance around the topic.
So, the stars aligned for me this week as I realized what stocky really is, and our company started a steps contest I’ve been hearing bantered about the office for the past week.
On the last day, I decided no more. I lost weight a couple years ago and said I wouldn’t put it back on but you know, it’s that last donut that will do it every time. I jumped, or rather stepped, into action and bought all in. Amazon Prime delivered my wrist step tracker that links with my cellphone.
Our company goal for us is 10,000 steps a day, of which I had no idea of how far that is.
When I announced my intention to join the office team, my coworkers looked at me funny. “Ummm, are you joining under the team or individual competitor?” I was asked.
“Well,” I said, “I thought I might be part of the team.” They got kind of a funny look on their faces, and questioned my resolve to do the work.
So I joined as an individual, as not to ruffle any feathers. I mean I don’t think there are even prizes or anything. A longtime member of the armed forces, I’ve been a walking fool in my life so I don’t know why my coworkers were skeptical. I am surprising agile for my age/weight … etc., but there was a vote of no confidence when it came to joining the team … go figure.
When I set my mind on something, I have great willpower. The one caveat is I have to want to do it and I really like donuts. Think Homer Simpson writes sports?
When I lost weight before, I did it by changing my diet entirely, getting rid of sugars and carbohydrates, eating mostly protein in the form of eggs, meat, cheese, salads and lots of water. I’ve gotten away from that as far as East is from West the last two years.
Like Rocky said in “Balboa,” he still had stuff left in the basement. I am, of course, referring to the willpower and doggedness to lose weight thru better living, not the extra pounds I’m carrying around with me these days.
Like Less than Jake lyrics, “I can walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more.” When I’m a lean, mean walking machine maybe my coworkers will want me on the team next time.