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The Scoop - Luck finally comes my way
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When it comes to being unlucky, I have accumulated a lifetime of rich, personal experiences.

If I hear something terrible only impacts 1 out of 100 people, I usually end up being the 1. If there are enough sandwiches to feed 12, I'll be the 13th person to arrive.

There's a fairly new Domino's commercial that says the company offers insurance on its pizzas in case something terrible happens on the way home. When I see that commercial, I always think that policy was written just for me.

So it was with great surprise last Saturday when I received a call from distinguished judge and Kids of the Community volunteer Bill Locke to tell me I had shed four decades of frustration and had emerged a winner. I had entered my name in a drawing during the annual Paddlefest fundraiser and was selected as the proud new owner of an Orion cooler made right next door at the Jackson Kayak facility in White County.

This is not only a prize. An Orion cooler is a status symbol. Owning an Orion product says to the world, "I don't mind spending $500 for a cooler even though I could buy a perfectly good one for $35."

This Orion cooler has instantly become the greatest thing I own. I now make it a point, when having casual conversation, to try to mention the fact I am now a member of the prestigious Orion Club.

The Orion cooler has been sitting in one corner of my living room since I claimed my prize on Saturday. Not only is it a functional cooler, it also doubles as the most expensive piece of furniture I own.
This weekend I hope to grab my new cooler and put it to its first test. I was thinking if I toss the cooler in the back of my 1991 GMC pickup, the cooler will be worth more than the truck itself.

At the risk of sounding like a walking Orion ad, this is a cooler which seems to have everything, including a bottle opener and a handy latch for holding my cellphone. We all know in today's world you can't truly enjoy the great outdoors without constantly checking your phone.

The problem with owning something nice like this Orion cooler is now I'm constantly worrying about something happening to it and I haven't even taken it on its first adventure. I won't leave it outside with my other "regular guy" cooler because I fear someone will wander up and steal it.

The information packet that accompanied my Orion proudly boasts that it is very sturdy and will be difficult to damage. Somehow, considering my history, I'll find a way to leave my cooler unattended and it will be run over by a cement mixer.

Las Vegas Law says to never bet on a loser under the assumption his luck is about to change. That means the chance of me having a long-standing relationship with this Orion cooler is probably slim, but I'm going to give it a try.

Standard editor James Clark can be reached at 473-2191.