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Re Porter - The perks of being single
bethany porter

A lot of my friends are married, engaged, have kids, or are pregnant and meanwhile I have spent the last few nights binge watching movies nominated for Oscars, alone, in the comfort of my bedroom. Don’t think I am sad about that either. I love getting to spend time by myself and not be responsible for others. It is great. 

I can’t imagine being responsible for a dog let alone a child. My friend has two beautiful babies under 2 and she does great with them. I don’t know if you know this, but 1-and-a-half-year-olds don’t like to listen. They also don’t understand a lot of societal rules like you can’t use a chicken nugget as a spoon to just lick the dipping sauce off. 

My friend’s baby learned that lesson really quickly the other night when she was sharing a plate of nuggets and sauce with him and he kept dipping his licked nugget back in the sauce. One benefit of no children is no one dips slobbery nuggets in my dipping sauces. 

I know it is almost unheard of to not be married by the old age of 23, but being married right now doesn’t seem appealing to me. In my experience, being in a relationship with someone around my age also means having to communicate with them pretty much 24/7 through texts or calls and I don’t have time for that. There are only so many “What’s up” texts and “doing this what about you” replies that I can take. 

After maybe two, I am not going to be replying to useless texts. I am just not a texting person. Unless we are actually talking about something, I am not going to text someone just for the fun of it and especially not all day. I have things to do, like binge watch Oscar-nominated movies for hours. 

I lived in an apartment by myself for four years and I loved it. Sharing a space with someone is something I will definitely have to work on if I ever intend on getting married. When I lived alone, I could go to bed whenever I wanted, which was usually the late hour of 9:30 p.m., and watch whatever I wanted, which was usually the best show ever made “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” Even though I have seen it all the way through so many times I have lost count. 

It has come to my attention that not everyone likes “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” which is a red flag by the way, so a positive of living by myself is I can watch “Buffy” from the second I get up to the minute I go to sleep if I wanted. The downside is I would have to pay all the bills by myself, and I don’t know if you have noticed but houses are ridiculously expensive right now. 

I am happy for my friends who are married, engaged, pregnant, or already have babies. They all seem to be doing really well, but I am just not at that stage in my life yet. Dog sitting for my sister a few months ago was just about as much responsibility as I can handle. I don’t even know how to correctly hold tiny babies, so I will definitely not be having one anytime soon. I love their babies, but I am content in sort of a surrogate fun aunt role for now.

Standard reporter Bethany Porter can be reached at 473-2191.