By allowing ads to appear on this site, you support the local businesses who, in turn, support local journalism.
Re Porter - Holiday ER trip
bethany porter

Every Thanksgiving, everyone in my family always brings up the one year I had an incident. I do one thing, one time, and then all of a sudden that is what is always brought up. This story is about the time I ended up in the ER on Thanksgiving. 

I was actually pretty excited when I woke up. For some reason I talked my mother into making cinnamon roll pancakes and I was pumped. Why I thought a big nice breakfast on Thanksgiving was a good idea, I don’t know, but I was so excited for those pancakes. Alas, I never got to have one. 

I was watching my mom make the pancakes when all of a sudden I felt horrible. I had the worst pain in my stomach and I was only able to get the words, “I don’t feel good” out of my mouth before I went down. My mom tried to hold my dead (undisclosed) weight, but we quickly went to the floor. I had briefly passed out. 

My mom managed to get me to a chair, but I couldn’t see. My vision was not working and we were both freaking out. My sister and dad were out walking the dogs at the time of the incident and all I hear is my mom yelling out the door for them to come help. 

Still blind, we decide to go to the ER. As soon as we step outside my vision returns, but we still decide to go. I look the worst I have ever looked because I just got out of bed. I have on the most raggedy t-shirt and pants that have cartoon rocks, papers and scissors on them. I was not thrilled about going out in public. 

To give a little backstory, my favorite thing about Thanksgiving is the dressing. As soon as I discovered I liked dressing, it was over for me. I look forward to it every year. On the way to the ER, I had a realization that I might not get dressing. I then started to cry. I was about 14-15 years old, by the way, crying about dressing. 

So I was just crying in the back seat about potentially not getting dressing all the way to the ER. I clearly had my priorities straight. The hospital was the definition of unhelpful too. We get there and wait forever. When it’s finally my turn, I see a man who only asks if I am pregnant or on drugs. I was neither, by the way. 

Then I go to a room and get an IV port in case they decided to do anything. They didn’t. After they put the port in, they made me pee in a cup which caused a big bruise because you kind of need to bend both arms for that act. 

After hours of sitting around at the ER, nothing was wrong with me and, hundreds of dollars later, I got to go home. No tests, just are you pregnant or on drugs. Top notch doctoring if I do say so myself. 

At the end of the day, I was able to attend my Thanksgiving dinner and got the coveted dressing and I still don’t know why I passed out. Happy Thanksgiving.

Standard reporter Bethany Porter can be reached at (931) 473-2191.