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Just a Thought - Should I get married again?
Lisa Hobbs, new mugshot.jpg

What’s a good reason to get married?

The most common response will likely be love. That’s sickeningly sweet, people. While not entirely inaccurate, I’d like actual reasons and not just that one emotion. Love can sometimes be nothing more than the initial excitement of being with someone new. After a few weeks or months….  Yes, you guessed it, reality gradually sets in and the passion you originally felt is gone.  

I had a friend who I called a "serial marryer." First, I’m fully aware that marryer is not a word. I created that terminology years ago to describe this action: meeting someone, falling deeply in love, marrying them within a week or so, and before the six-month mark was up, wanting a divorce and eventually doing just that. Done several times, you fit the definition of serial marryer.  

So, what’s a good reason to get married? 

• Companionship. Found someone you’ve spent a lot of time with and you enjoy that time together, which I assume will increase considerably once you tie the knot.

• Common interests. Someone who loves to hike might not be entirely happy with someone who doesn’t. If you have a passion, find someone who shares that passion. 

• Allocation of life’s heavy burdens. Work, housework, yardwork, shopping, paying bills, the never ending to-do list, etc. It’s all a bit much for one person.

• The elephant in the room would be financial. Two incomes to pay mortgage, water, electric, etc. One person can do it, but two should alleviate any financial concerns. 

I guess there are reasons to not get married. The fear of divorce is one. Living together is more common and widely accepted, but not an option I wish to consider.

I’ve been on my own for almost eight years, but I’m contemplating a change in that status. 

Being single in my 40s wasn’t something I thought would happen. I started my adult journey pretty much the same as everyone else. Thoughts were of career, homeownership, marriage, children (boy and girl), and retirement with my husband. Divorce did not occur to me. It, obviously, would. 

Single is the term I use. Some would say a more accurate word would be divorcee. Divorce was something that happened and not a description of who I am. I prefer single. If it’s good enough for the IRS, it’s good enough for me.  

I’ve enjoyed the last eight years. It has been the only time in my life when I didn’t have to focus on what he might want to do this weekend, eat for dinner or watch on TV. All those decisions have been amazingly easy based solely on what I want. Alone doesn’t mean lonely. I have enjoyed it. 

These thoughts have been running through my head since reconnecting with Doug, the guy I dated when we were 16. Should I get married again or not?

Standard reporter Lisa Hobbs can be reached at 473-2191.