Being my last column of the year, should it be dedicated to 2022 resolutions? This will not go well.

I could promise to give up coffee, my source for caffeine, knowing it will never happen. It is the first thing I look for when walking into the newsroom. If there isn’t any made, I make it. On the rare occasions that we run out, I immediately go on a Maxwell House run. Coffee, caffeinated, a must.

I could promise to put all my bills on autopay, knowing it will never happen. I have a Type A personality, meaning I’m somewhat controlling when it comes to things like that. I want to see the bills when they come in, examine them for changes and make sure they are paid. No streamlining the process for me, regardless of the time I might save.

I could promise to take a social media break. This would be a hollow resolution. While everyone seems to live and breathe Facebook, I do not. I’m a bit sporadic in my commitment, so taking a break wouldn’t be difficult at all. Work takes up the majority of my Facebook searches.

I could promise to cut back on non-essential spending. Again, a hollow resolution. Being dedicated to the ideal of living within my means, wasteful I am not. I have always wanted to try adding 10 percent to my household utility bills, compounded monthly beginning in January. I’d be on easy street, financially, November and December. I’ve never looked into it. Will I this year?

I could promise to start sleeping better. I absolutely love (she said sarcastically) reading research that recommends sleeping better as a cure for all kinds of things. If I could sleep better, I would. Who sets a goal of not sleeping well? I wake up every night between

1 and 2 a.m. It just happens. Not sure there’s any hope for it.

I could promise to read more books, which is something everyone needs to do. There was a time when I read a chapter or two (yes, an actual book and not from an electronic device) each night. Even today, I’d rather turn a page and not scroll.

I could promise to be more mindful about health. Moments of unhealthy eating, everyone has those. I doubt a resolution will have any impact on those.

Also not going to happen in the upcoming year: join a gym, keep a journal, send more cards, save more money (if I could, I would), be consistent with laundry, choose the stairs, drink more water and lose weight.

I could, but I won’t, seems to be the theme of this column. Research, if online polls can be called research, shows that the majority of New Year’s resolutions fail within the first month. I guess that makes me a realist. I know an effort in futility when I hear one.

Standard reporter Lisa Hobbs can be reached at 473-2191.