I rarely make New Year’s resolutions. However, there is a benefit to them. If nothing else, it’s an opportunity to attempt to improve yourself and it seems like some people have a lot of that to do. I would start on your character flaws, just as a suggestion.
Yeah, I’m somewhat irritated over the man who allegedly threatened to kill his mother’s dog over a $400 check. I get so angry with things like this. You don’t want to know what I said. Actually, I probably can’t put it in this column. I’m sure her initial instinct to hide the check was from prior incidents of violence over money. That upsets me more than you will ever know.
Abuse is never OK. I don’t care what the circumstances are – parents abusing their children, children abusing their parents, spousal abuse. A lot of people forget there are various forms of abuse. It’s not just physical. It can be psychological as well.
If you are guilty of any of these, do yourself and the people around you a favor and make a resolution to stop and then go seek professional help:
• Physical abuse – throwing objects at someone; pushing or shoving someone; threatening someone with weapons; hitting, punching or kicking someone; choking or throwing someone.
• Emotional abuse – insulting someone; calling someone names; yelling at someone; blaming someone for everything; threatening to hurt or kill someone and/or their children (or pets).
• Social abuse – insulting someone publicly; putting down someone’s capabilities as a spouse, parent, lover or worker; demanding all of someone’s attention and resenting any focus on others; isolating someone from friends or activities; spending money without first meeting basic financial obligations.
• Sexual abuse – expecting someone to have sex after an abusive incident; criticizing someone’s sexual performance; withholding affection to punish someone; accusing someone of looking at, talking to, or having sex with another.
• Spiritual abuse – discounting someone’s sense of right or wrong; denying someone’s value as a person with legitimate wants and likes; questioning someone’s sense of reality; denying, minimizing or ridiculing someone’s spiritual beliefs.
Just in case I’ve missed something, abuse is defined as the improper usage or treatment of an entity, often to unfairly or improperly gain benefit. Abuse can come in many forms, such as: physical or verbal maltreatment, injury, assault, violation, rape, unjust practices; crimes, or other types of aggression.
Sadly, as I’m writing this, I know the people who need to get help probably won’t. My only hope is someone suffering at the hands of an abuser will read this and decide they’ve had enough. Face facts: you’ve tried but you can’t help them. They are toxic, which means they will drag everyone around them down.
Make the resolution that 2016 will be a better year and work toward making that happen. It’s OK to want a better life. It’s also OK to disassociate yourself from people who hinder that effort. If they aren’t a benefit in your life, why allow them in it?
Standard reporter Lisa Hobbs can be reached at 473-2191.
Just a Thought 12-27
Never believe abuse is OK

