“There is nothing wrong with being afraid---but there is nothing more wrong than allowing that to be your master.” – Bobby Darin
I recently wrote about turning 28 and letting go of some of the negative habits which tend to hinder my growth in different facets of my life. Procrastination is one of the traits I struggle with.
I believe the hesitation to act is caused by my anxiety of failure. Due to this perfectionist mindset, I’ve gotten into a habit of feeling more comfortable with not trying rather than taking a chance which could end in failure. I overevaluate myself and consider all of the “what if’s” which could occur if a situation doesn’t produce the positive results I’m hoping for.
A realization has creeped into my mind of all the things I’ve stopped myself from attempting due to the potential for defeat. Growth is not a pretty thing nor is it filled with glorious epiphanies and an uplifting soundtrack. Growth is taking a deep, hard look into yourself, both the positive and negative aspects, and trying to discover the truths of what holds you back, which is typically not a pleasant feeling.
Confronting past mistakes and using the lessons learned from those experiences to better yourself is crucial in self-growth. I believe every event is a stepping stone to teach you something in order to move to the next.
This year my goal is to leave my comfortability zone and not allow fear to hold me back. Even if my journey is made with trembling feet, each move brings me closer to reaching the higher expectations I’ve finally decided I deserve.
Last year was one of growth, self-realizations and healing which prepared me to fearlessly take this year on, aspire for more and find the confidence to do so. Nothing will change if no action is taken. Even if I fail while being vulnerable enough to reach out and try, I can be proud of attemptnig to capture my dreams.
I now believe in setting higher standards for myself. I don’t want to simply exist, become complacent or stop dreaming. Life will only grant you as much as you seek, which means not only hoping for more, but putting in the necessary work to acquire those opportunities.
I’ve given fear and self-doubt a great deal of control over myself and the belief of what I can accomplish. I’ve been taking the gift of life for granted. The older I get, the more I realize how quickly it moves. This life is the only one I have, and at any moment, it could be cut short.
On my death bed, I don’t want to think back about all of the adventures, excitement and opportunities I could’ve experienced if I would’ve not allowed fear to keep me from trying. I hope to have the least regrets possible by being brave enough to live my life to the fullest beginning now.
Standard reporter Atlanta Northcutt can be reached at 473-2191.