Return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear, when every news organization in Washington was feeding out of Kenneth Starr's soft little hand like a Shetland pony.Having recently left the country for a few weeks of media deprivation therapy, I returned to find excited pundits comparing President Obama to Richard M. Nixon on the basis of three transparently bogus White House "scandals" that make Starr's fabled "Whitewater" investigation look like the crime of the century.Once again, the word "impeachment" is in the air, as excited GOP congressmen dream of driving a Democratic president from office. Once again, the nation appears to be headed for a fun-filled summer of televised hearings, elaborately feigned indignation, and predictions of dramatic revelations that either never materialize or blow up in their sponsors' faces.So nobody's getting impeached on this tripartite nonsense, OK? Anyway, let's take them one at a time:One: Regarding IRS "targeting" of right-wingers, I'm planning to rename my little one-man cattle operation "Tea Party Patriot Farm." With that on my Schedule C, the IRS won't DARE to audit my tax returns.