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Family Man 5-3
Phhfftt, how I hate cat videos
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How bad do I hate cat videos? They are quickly becoming the bane of my existence as I’m constantly hearing the loud meows, hissing and screaming of felines thanks to my son Henry who plays them all the time, cackling like they are the funniest thing ever.
Granted, on a worldwide basis, funny cat videos are one of the most clicked videos on the internet. After all, who doesn’t love the cuddly little balls of hair? However, viewing such videos should be done with restraint and not binge-watched as Henry is prone to do. And, viewing cat videos should be done privately and not forced upon the general public.
“Look, daddy!” Henry pushed a computer tablet in front of my nose as I was trying to watch wrestling.
Come on, some things are sacred around the house, especially Monday Night RAW. A man only has a limited number of things to look forward to in life at my advanced age and my redneck soap opera on Monday night is one of them.
“You aren’t transparent, son. I can’t see through you,” I said, trying to reposition myself on the couch so I could see the main event.
“But look,” he moved with me, still blocking my view of the TV with his outstretched pad. “It’s funny.”
“I’m sure it is,” I said, glancing at the tablet showing two cats at a standoff, growling at one another, their tails twitching like they are about to do battle.
“That’s great,” I said dryly. “Now go let daddy watch wrestling.”
Returning my attention to the TV, I’m soon interrupted again as Henry comes running back up, hysterical with laughter.
“Look at this cat,” Henry shoves the pad under my nose, this one showing the cat – and we’ve all seen it – playing the piano.
“Great,” I reply, realizing this might go on all night. “How about you let daddy watch wrestling and then show me the videos.”
Henry then happily hops off, still cackling at his cat videos. Much to my surprise, the living room was quiet for the rest of wrestling. So, I got up and went to his room to check on him and found the door closed.
I quietly open the door and there is Henry. He’s not watching cat videos anymore – he’s making a cat video with his pad. He has our two cats, who generally don’t get along very well, jammed on his bed, encouraging them to make sounds like he’s heard on the videos.
“Come on, Leo,” he encouraged like a young Stephen Spielberg, trying to motivate an actor.
However, the cats weren’t interested in acting, both swishing their tails like they were ready to claw their young director for making them sit side by side.
“Hey, Henry,” I say with my head stuck in the door. “Why don’t we leave making cat videos to the professionals?”
My suggestion didn’t work. For the past few days he’s been running around, following the cats like a junior paparazzi, trying to catch that magic moment.
Have I mentioned that I hate cat videos?
Standard reporter Duane Sherrill can be reached at 473-2191.