Since the Warren County A & L Fair is up and running and pageants are on everyone’s mind, I thought I would dedicate this column to pageant questions. I have only been in two pageants.

I did the Little Fairest when I was in second or third grade and only did it because my sister did it when she was that age. I also did the Fairest of the Fair my senior year only because I already had a dress from homecoming and a lot of my friends were doing it. I never made it past the first round in either of them. Pageants are not for me.

Thankfully I wasn’t what they were looking for because I would have botched the questions portion if I made it that far. There is a reason I wanted to go into print media. My public speaking skills are almost nonexistent and I have a voice for newspaper. 

I covered the Preteen and Teen pageants the other night and got a kick out of some of the questions and answers. I also think the girls should have all been asked the same thing because some of these questions were hard. 

One girl was asked “Besides directions, what is the last thing you Googled?” If I was on the spot I don’t think I would have been able to answer that one. The last thing I Googled were scores to the games over the weekend. By the way, the teams I picked really let me down, but there’s always next week. The girl’s answer was “Probably a song,” but later she said it was really pageant questions. Everything I have ever Googled would have left my brain the instant I was asked that question, so I think it was a tough one. 

In the Preteen pageant I got tickled at some of the girls’ answers. One girl was asked what she would do with a million dollars and she said donate to charity. The next girl was asked “If I were a genie, what would you wish for?” The girl said “to donate to charity.” It made me laugh, but it was a good on-the-spot charitable answer. 

If I were asked the million dollar question and answered truthfully, I guess I would say I would buy a house (because house prices are currently ridiculous) and never work again. I love my job, but I could live on a million dollars. If a genie were to grant me a wish, I guess I would wish for a house because the housing market is so horrible. Can you tell I am bitter about house prices? 

There was also a “Who’s your role model” question that wouldn’t have gained me any favor with my family or probably the judges. The girl said her mother, but I think on the spot I would have either said Sarah Michelle Gellar or be really bold and say Buffy the Vampire Slayer and no one would know what I was talking about. 

Like I said, I am very glad I never advanced past the first round in my two pageants. 

Standard reporter Bethany Porter can be reached at 473-2191.