When a fly soars into your nostril, no matter how shallow and no matter how briefly, you will feel its presence for hours. That lasting effect that will result in repeated attempts to assure yourself that the invader is indeed gone. Be discreet. To other people, it will look like you are picking. 

A watched pot never boils. Incorrect. It absolutely will. Walking away doesn’t speed up the process. It will, however, result in a state of "out of sight, out of mind" that quickly turns into, "What is that sound?” as hot water swells over the top of the pan and onto the stovetop. Your boiled eggs will then look like busted tubes of biscuits. 

Carrying light weights on your walk is not the time to become forgetful and toss caution to the wind as you swat the mosquito which continues to buzz at your ear. From the viewpoint of the mosquito, that was probably hilarious. If you listen intently, you can probably hear its buzz-filled laughter.

Being able to get up off the floor is a young person’s game. At some point in life, and that age differs from person to person, you’ll need a plan on how to get back up. You’ll know when that stage of life has been reached and a plan is required. Sadly, that realization will only occur when you’re already on the floor. 

Children can teach you so much – like it’s completely possible to learn how to drive a car, but absolutely impossible to learn how to operate a lawn mower, vacuum cleaner or properly load the dish washer. The mind bogles, does it not? 

Seeing a large spider in your room isn’t scary. Leaving the room to grab a flyswatter and coming back to discover it is now gone – now that’s scary. 

If your partner says they aren’t good enough for you, believe them. That will likely be the only bar they have set for themselves. 

Throwing something at someone who annoys you won’t teach them a lesson. If you must do it anyway, toss an encyclopedia, dictionary or thesaurus.

For every warning label, there could be someone who tried it. That knowledge can make you feel like a genius when you see “Caution: Remove Child Before Folding” on a stroller or “Not Intended for Highway Use” on a wheelbarrow. Feeling smarter already? 

There are subtle differences between men and women. Like: If a woman says she’ll call you, she means that day. If a man says he’ll call you, it means sometime before he dies. Yes, subtle differences indeed. 

To thrive in life you need three bones. A wish bone, a back bone, and a funny bone. That’s a life quote from Reba McEntire. 

Thank you, Reba. How very true. She was the inspiration for this column. Let’s not take life too seriously. 

Standard reporter Lisa Hobbs can be reached at 473-2191.