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Just a Thought - Being healthy is dangerous
Lisa Hobbs, new mugshot.jpg

Healthy eating and exercise can be perilous to one’s well-being.

For Memorial Day weekend, I took a hike at Rock Island State Park that Sunday. Slipped, fell and severely injured a wrist at noon.

Spent half the holiday lying in bed with ice packs. Praying for the pain to ease up and considering crime as a possibility (purchasing hydros off the street, because ibuprofen wasn’t cutting it). Two weeks later and still on the mend.

Others took the three-day weekend as an opportunity to binge watch season four of “Stranger Things,” a drama about a group of young friends who witness supernatural forces and secret government exploits. Zero injuries reported from being a couch potato.

First hike of the season, and possibly the last. Next three-day weekend, lazy and inactive. Binge watch whatever was recently released on Hulu or Netflix. Requirements: TV, remote, comfort foods, drinks, couch and pillows. Not required: ibuprofen, ice packs, elevation, wrist brace or jail time.

Favorite binge-worthy foods: Lay’s potato chips, butter pecan ice cream, chocolate chip cookies with milk, popcorn and cheese sticks (the deep fried ones). Food choices are importantly to the overall couch potato experience. Zero healthy, but all tasty.

About choked to death on an apple slice. Wondering if the Heimlich maneuver would be possible and if anyone was qualified to perform it. Would they, if they could? Not everyone is a Lisa fan.

No impending death experiences: white lights or seeing lost loved ones. Instead, a thought just after coughing it up (gross): “Would this be happening with a bacon cheeseburger complete with lettuce, tomato, pickles, onions, mayo and deep fried tatters?” Probably not.

What kind of apple isn’t an apple? When it’s a pine-apple.

What did the apple skin say to the apple? I’ve got you covered.

Speaking of health foods, broccoli is good for eye health, hormonal balance, immune system, heart health, digestive process, and it has cancer protective compounds.

Called a superfood, it contains fiber, vitamin C, vitamin K, iron, calcium, magnesium and potassium. Is broccoli safe for everyone? No, the bush-looking green vegetable isn’t.

Cut a finger while dicing one up for a salad. Slightly more than a paper cut, but still. Ouch?!?!?!?!

Again, would a cut have occurred if the food selection had been a bacon cheeseburger complete with lettuce, tomato, pickles, onions?

Probably not. Plus, a burger never caused bloating and gas due to the high fiber content in a delicate digestive system.

What kind of vegetable do you need for a flat fire? A-spare-agus.

Why do people dance to the vegetable band? Because it had a good beet.

All joking aside, healthy eating and exercise is the only way to go.

My accident prone nature notwithstanding.

Standard reporter Lisa Hobbs can be reached at 473-2191.