I think I’ve slipped into some alternate universe where things are going terribly wrong. I’m expecting to see a cameo of Steven King any minute now. If he pops out at me in a darkened library, I’m probably going to scream. That was the scariest commercial about libraries I have ever seen. Sorry, Steven, but it was. I’m OK with him being the pizza guy. Please, bring me a stuffed crust pepperoni pizza – my favorite.
For those of you who are not scary movie buffs, Steven likes to make cameo appearances. He was the pizza delivery guy in “Rose Red.” I love that movie. He was the minister in “Pet Cemetery,” and the cemetery caretaker in “Sleepwalkers.” Another favorite of mine. The list of his appearances in movies, TV series, and TV mini-series could go on and on.
Well, let’s move on to why I’m feeling a little out of place. The other day I was asked about the possibility of there ever being a demolition derby at the fair. I’m probably the wrong person to ask since I have no authority over what happens at the fair.
However, regardless of my lack of authority, I did offer my opinion that not having an area suitable to hold it and public safety might be two concerns for Fair Board officials rejecting such a request. Concerns aside, I do believe a demolition derby would be a big hit (pun intended) at the fair. I believe everyone would enjoy it.
Here’s how the conversation went after the initial request:
“You can keep your tractor pulls,” she said. “You can keep you mud bogs.”
At this point, I’m thinking she read my column regarding my love for tractor pulls. If you haven’t, that last sentence sums it up.
“I grew up on demolition derbies,” she said. “I would fall asleep at a tractor pull. You don’t even have to know anything about demolition derbies to have fun at one.”
For those of you who do not know, a demolition derby is a motorsport usually presented at county fairs and festivals. While rules vary from event to event, the typical event consists of five or more drivers competing by deliberately ramming their vehicles into one another. The last driver whose vehicle is still operational is awarded the victory.
Demolition derbies originated in the United States. I bet that tidbit of information didn’t come as a shock to anyone.
Then, she said it, “There’s also a powder puff division for women who want to compete.”
Can I not escape this crazy powder puff mess? Is it like gum? When you step in it, you can’t get it off your shoe.
Apparently, much like tractor pulls, not all events have that division and sometimes women can compete alongside men. Why, I thought, are we having this conversation in 2016? She said women are just as aggressive as men. Then why does that division still exist?
Excuse me while I check the bottom of my shoes for gum.
Standard reporter Lisa Hobbs can be reached at 473-2191.