Could you sit through four hours of people making fun of you? What about four minutes? Four seconds? Depending on how deep they cut, it would be pretty tough.

I don’t think I’m going out on a limb to say that most people don’t like to be the butt of the joke, so it blew me away when one of the most famous athletes of the last 25 years – Tom Brady – signed up for a roast that was aired live on Netflix last month. It was especially shocking when the jokes started flying in fast and furious and the realization hit that, aside from his kids and Robert Kraft (owner of the New England Patriots), no topic was off limits.

If you haven’t seen it, I think I would recommend it. Well, I definitely wouldn’t recommend it for kids – or really anybody who doesn’t like crude humor. It goes completely off the rails and Tom, to his credit, just sits there and seems to take everything in stride. While watching him win for nearly two decades already let me know he was calm, cool and collected even when the heat was cranked up, I may have gained a new appreciation for the guy when he didn’t swing on anybody on the stage during a few of the harshest jokes.

Granted, money may always help keep the peace and it’s been rumored Brady got a pretty penny (and may even a few billion pennies) to let famous people take their best shots at his personal life, playing career and so much more. Personally, I don’t know how much it would take, but if the offer started at seven figures, I’d listen.

More so, the Brady debate did start a new conversation between me and some friends. Namely, who in Warren County would you like to see roasted? I’m sure people would be lining up to roast their favorite targets in town, but who would have the thick skin required to let people put them in the crosshairs for two hours and only have about 20 minutes for a rebuttal at the end? That’s the better question.

After a lengthy debate, one name rose to the top of the list. Sadly, it won’t be a possibility though. That’s because the person my friends and I decided would be the perfect person for a Warren County roast would be the late Pedro Paz.

He had enough stature in the community that almost everybody knew him (or knew of him), he would be able to take the heat, there would be any number of topics that would be hilarious to revisit (including “Godzilla burping” and much more) and – most importantly – he would’ve been absolutely electric at the end of the night when it was his turn on the mic.

I knew Coach pretty well through my job and I was a target of some of his finest barbs – his wit was quick and his personality could fill a room. I think he would’ve been the king of the Warren County roasts.

If you have any suggestions, send them my way. Maybe we could even make it happen. But if you decide to suggest I take the heat, then you better have a check waiting for me.  

Standard Sports Editor Jeffery Simmons can be contacted at sports@southernstandard.com