I have only ever been in two pageants. I was in the Little Fairest of the Fair when I was in second grade and the Fairest of the Fair when I was a senior. Neither went well. 

I am not really a pageant girl. I like to dress up every now and then, but walking around on a stage for all to see is not for me. I only did the Little Fairest of the Fair pageant because my sister did it when she was my age. If she did something, I obviously had to do it too. I remember going to Kathy’s and picking out a very pretty dark blue dress. The day of the pageant, I got my hair done and I always like to say it looked like a mullet. My hair was curled and half up and half down. I looked interesting. 

I convinced myself I was going to win that pageant. I don’t know why I thought I was going to, but I definitely thought I was going to do well. When I did not make it past the first round, I was very disappointed. I did get a participation trophy though. This was back in the day when there was only Little and Fairest of the Fair. Now there are five different pageants, which is a lot if you ask me.  

The second time I did a pageant, I was not disappointed at all when I didn’t progress. I only did the Fairest of the Fair because I had a dress, since I was on homecoming court the year before and some of my friends were doing it. The day of the practice we all drew a number to determine the order we would go in. I drew number three. I was very unhappy with my selection, but I suppose it could have been worse.

For me, the worst part about the entire pageant was the interview. Before the pageant, we all had to do an interview with the judges. I am not great at interviews. During my interview, they asked me about my favorite TV show, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" because I wrote down on my application that I like to watch it in my free time. When I tell you I know all there is to know about that show, it is not an exaggeration. I know everything about it; however, when they asked me to describe my favorite episode or why I like it so much, my brain went blank. I gave a horrendous answer that sounded something like, “Well, in one episode, Buffy had to choose between saving the world or her boyfriend and she chose to save the world.” Horrible. I still get embarrassed thinking about my interview. 

On the night of the actual pageant, I was hot, tired and hungry. My feet hurt from the heels I was wearing and I don’t even remember walking out on the stage. I think I actually walked so quickly that the emcee, Ryan J. Moore, was unable to finish reading my paper. I was very relieved to not be selected to continue. I just know I would have bombed the question segment. While the other girls remained miserable, I was enjoying some wonderful cheese fries. Pageants are not for me. 

Standard reporter Bethany Porter can be reached at (931) 473-2191.