This month, I have decided to dedicate my remaining columns to discussing and critiquing movies. Specifically horror movies in honor of spooky season. My first victim is “Scream.” Spoilers ahead, duh. So if you haven’t seen it, what have you been doing for the last 27 years? Also go watch it. 

“Scream” takes place in Woodsboro, Calif. and centers on Sidney Prescott. Sidney’s mom was murdered a year before the movie takes place. Murders begin to take place in town and the killer taunts the victims on the phone, specifically Sidney. The villain of the movie is Ghostface. You wouldn’t think a simple ghost-like mask would be as scary as it is, but I can confirm it is pretty terrifying. 

Last Halloween, I came to work dressed as Casey Becker (the first victim) and Taylor Moore came as Ghostface. We took pictures in the back press room and seeing him in costume in the dark like that did actually scare me. I warned him that if he tried to scare me I would hit first and ask questions later. Luckily, he was kind and did not test his luck. 

This movie was on TV the other day and it gave me the idea to pick apart some of the sillier parts of the film. I love when horror movie characters make horrible decisions. I suppose there wouldn’t be much of a movie if they always did the right thing. 

In “Scream,” the final fight takes place at a house seemingly in the middle of nowhere. Sidney, Stu, Billy, Randy, Dewey and Gale end up being the last people at the party. When Sidney gets away from Ghostface by falling out of a window, instead of taking off running toward the nearest road, she just stays at the house. She attempts to start Dewey’s cop car, but the keys aren’t in it. If I had been chased by a scary-looking ghost man wielding a knife, nothing would make me go back into that house. I mean, it worked out for Sidney in the end, but I doubt it would go the same for me. 

I also think the kids in “Scream” just wanted to die. I mean who throws a party in the middle of a murder spree? Oh wait. Actually one of the killers did that. I will amend my statement to who in the world would go to a party when there is a literal masked murderer going around stabbing people? If my town shut down on a curfew because of a murderer, I would not ever leave the house. I barely want to leave my house as it is. 

Tatum, another character in the movie, decides the best course of action while a murderer is on the loose is to go get more drinks in the basement, alone. While getting drinks, Ghostface obviously comes for her. She fights back a little, but then decides to try and go through a tiny dog door. A full-sized woman thought she could fit through the dog door. Yeah, Tatum gets smooshed. 

Horror movies wouldn’t be much of anything without these characters making horrible decisions. I just enjoy thinking what I would do differently. Honestly, I probably wouldn’t make the best decisions either. Sometimes you just have to accept that you are not final-girl material and move on. 

Standard reporter Bethany Porter can be reached at (931) 473-2191.