The first thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me: a parade without Christmas music. 

Sorry, I stole the first sentence of a Christmas songs for that lead-in sentence. “The Twelve Pains of Christmas” by Bob Rivers is pure genius. If you haven’t heard it, it’s a fun spin on “The Twelve Days of Christmas.” The pains song is one of my favorites during the holidays, while the serious song is tedious and time consuming. 

My love for that song rung loud and clear with the 2021 McMinnville Christmas Parade theme. For the first time McMinnville Parks and Recreation Department allowed people to vote. I was happy to see that, given that the 2019 theme was a reuse of a previous theme – Grinch. I thought at the time that maybe the city has run out of ideas. Maybe I was right. 

So, the theme for this year is “Songs of Christmas.” I have a deep dark secret reason for loving it. I have watched many, many parades pass over my lifetime. The Christmas parade always seems to be lacking music. It feels like a very happy funeral procession going by. 

Thank you, voters. My hope is that many, if not all, the parade entries have some sort of music playing as they pass. Fingers crossed. Do not disappoint me!

Just so you know, The Twelve Pains of Christmas:

• Finding a Christmas tree

• Rigging up the lights

• Hangovers

• Sending Christmas cards

• Five months of bills

• Facing my in-laws

• The Salvation Army 

• I wanna Transformer for Christmas

• Finding parking spaces

• Batteries not included

• Stale TV specials

• Singing Christmas carols 

Who hasn’t stressed over finding the perfect tree and rigging up the lights? Those efforts are likely alien to some generations with pre-lit trees and inflatable yard décor. 

I’m going to pull an "off the record" for having a hangover after Christmas and issues with in-laws. If I’ve gotten tipsy at Christmas, we can blame that on in-laws. Guaranteed. 

FYI, I’ve never sent Christmas cards or gone into debt buying presents at Christmas. Cards is a thought that pops up year after year, but never to the point of fruition. If you can’t afford it, don’t buy it – motto to live by. 

Being generous comes hand-in-hand with Christmas. Keep providing donations within reason, people. No regrets. Most children have a list of wants for Dec. 25 from Santa. With any luck, those come fully assembled and with batteries. 

Stale TV specials? Hilarious, but I’m not sure what it means. Seriously, what does that means? Anyone?

Singing Christmas carols. Who doesn’t love it? However, I do not want to hear Christmas music all day and every day or a work. No thank you. 

Standard reporter Lisa Hobbs can be reached at 473-2191.