I have a stance on movies. They can scare me or make me laugh. However, I veto anything that looks like it will make me cry. No chick flicks and no war movies. Sorry. Both of those types of movies are definitely going to make me cry. I’ll pass.
I expressed my dislike for what I call "chick flicks" to a co-worker. He looked at me and said “You know you’re a chick, right?” Well yeah, but why does that mean I have to watch movies dealing mainly with love and romance that always includes heartache? That’s profiling and profiling is wrong.
Now, “Ride Along 2” was funny. I liked that movie. Maybe it wasn’t as funny as the woman sitting in the row opposite me thought it was. She laughed loudly at everything. I’m glad she liked it though.
There are some people who can’t handle horror movies. Take, for instance, my friend Melissa. Bless her heart – the appropriate response when you are about to out someone’s quirks. She voluntarily agreed to go see “The Forest” with me. For those of you who aren’t familiar with it, it’s about a woman who goes to Japan’s Suicide Forest to find her twin sister, and confronts supernatural terror. Right up my alley but a little dark for her – get it? Dark alley, another scary place you should avoid.
Melissa volunteered to go with me. Actually, it was her idea which shocked me. I’ve been to a horror movie with her before and I knew what to expect. I don’t know if it’s the suspense she can’t handle but she always starts talking to the screen. It adds a bit of amusement to any horror movie.
We went after the movie has been out a while so I was hoping it would be just her and me in the theater – don’t want to bother people. Luckily, there was only one other couple in there. There was quite a bit of distance between us. Then, a couple came in and sat right beside us. Why? There’s an empty theater and you sit right beside us? I just couldn’t understand it. I decided I wouldn’t accommodate those people by moving. They needed to learn etiquette.
As soon as the movie got suspenseful, Melissa lost control. If you can imagine this: “Don’t go in there.” “Why is she so stupid?” “Don’t forget your backpack.” “You don’t do that when you are in a scary movie.” I know she’s freaking out and that’s why she acts that way. It’s all good.
The guy sitting next to us started clearing his throat, as if that would get her to stop. When she didn’t feel like she could handle anymore, she would pull out her cellphone and look at it. Eventually, they got up and moved. Lesson learned: don’t sit next to people in an empty theater. It’s just ridiculous.
Melissa definitely adds a bit of humor to any horror movie. Isn’t that right bestie?
Standard reporter Lisa Hobbs can be reached at 473-2191.