Like many others, I spent the majority of my Labor Day weekend relaxing on the lake. I attended an event Saturday evening at the Burlap Room on Bert Driver’s Nursery in Smithville enjoying live music, scrumptious food, talented art vendors and a fun time with friends.
As the festivities were coming to an end, my friend and I headed to the lake. While walking down the dock, everyone was in high spirits and celebrating the weekend. My friend and I climbed on the front porch of a neighboring boat where we joined at least seven other women under the age of 30 and began enjoying ourselves and talking together.
One man had obviously been celebrating too hard and was incredibly drunk. After stumbling down the dock, he climbed into the boat where all of us were sitting. I thought the others girls knew the man. They thought he had come with my friend and me. However, none of us had ever met the sloppy and staggering man.
He began to invade my personal space, such as leaning down toward my ear, speaking inappropriately and constantly asking for high-five’s. The one time I did slap his palm, the man wrapped his hand around mine preventing me from pulling away.
He continuously asked me to ride in his boat, which I turned down each time. My firm responses of no were not enough to deter him. I finally became so uncomfortable and irritated with his behavior and utter disregard of my refusals to join this creep on a “private boat ride.”
I hate confrontation, but his behavior finally reached the point to where I stated, “No! I do not want to go on a ride in your boat, and I don’t want you around me.” Feeling disgusted and uneasy, my friend and I were walked back to the boat we were staying on by someone we could trust to ensure we weren’t followed.
The next morning I discovered the girls we’d been hanging out with had to leave the front porch and go inside due to safety concerns. Many of the boat owners, including the one I was staying on, kept watch late into the evening to make sure the man didn’t return. I also heard the man fell on his own boat due to his drunken behavior and busted his nose and forehead. I call that karma.
When someone says no, they mean it. No doesn’t indicate constantly staring, invading personal space by touching or hovering over someone and continuously soliciting requests hoping to convince the individual to agree. No definitely doesn’t infer making someone feel uncomfortable. It doesn’t matter what a person’s wearing, if they’re intoxicated or if they’re being friendly. No always means no.
Once that word is spoken and consent isn’t given, repeatedly asking the same questions in order to pressure someone into succumbing to advances officially turns into harassment. Don’t be like Mr. Perverted Broken Nose guy. Understand the meaning of no.
Standard reporter Atlanta Northcutt can be reached at 473-2191.
