Have you ever noticed how Warren County becomes something out of a zombie apocalypse movie when the weatherman tells us snow is coming? Everyone flocks to their favorite store and raids the milk and bread aisles so they can make their famous milk sandwiches when the impending disaster strikes.
“It’s the end of the world, son. Eat your milk sandwich.”
If you walk into the store after the hoard has hit, it looks reminiscent of the aftermath of locusts gleaning a wheat field. The shelves are laid bare with the exception of a few cans of Spam. At the end of the day though, it’s all a big adieu about nothing, pardon my French.
And, like many of you, I sit on my high horse and laugh at all those panicked Warren countians, having a come apart because of a little snow. However, in doing so, I must confess I’m a big hypocrite because I too have an unrealistic fear of a little snow on the road. Mind you, I’m not going to rush out to the store and stock up just because snow is in the forecast, but I do get butterflies in the pit of my stomach if I realize I have to drive on the slick stuff.
I’m a well-known slick roads sissy here at the office. I’m the guy who will call in if the road is white in front of my house.
“I don’t want to smash my car,” I tell our editor, James Clark, who lives in walking distance to the paper and doesn’t understand the brutal winters we have to endure in Newtown. “I’ll just work from the house.”
Given my well-known fear of ice and snow on the roads, there was a buzz in the newsroom when I walked in for work Friday. It was like they had seen a ghost as they were not expecting me to brave the elements to make it in. Yes, I made the harrowing trek into town from the frozen tundra, placing life and limb into peril just so you folks could have your news. You’re welcome.
My phobia is different from most folks, however since I’ve for many years loved chasing storms – big ones. If there’s a tornado warned in the area, I’m not seeking shelter in my “safe place,” I’m heading to where it is. Word of advice, if you’re afraid of storms and you’re around the newsroom when I’m heading out the door, turn down my offer to ride along with me as I “punch the core."
So, what could be the issue? On ice, the worst-case scenario is I slide into a ditch and have to be towed out. Worst-case scenario in a tornado is my car gets blown into a tree and they never find my body. It seems like ice would be nothing to a weather nut like myself.
But, bottom line is that on most icy days, Duane will be filing his news from the Newtown Bureau while the rest of you daredevils take to the roads.
Standard reporter Duane Sherrill can be reached at 473-2191.