Do these jeans make me look fat?
It's the question we have all come to hate, but experienced guys know how to answer it.
"No, those jeans don't make you look fat at all."
Keep in mind this is an answer that must come swiftly and with confidence. Any noticeable hesitation could be disastrous.
The key point to remember about this question is the person asking it does not want an honest answer. They want reassurance that they really do look great.
That's pretty much how it goes with all walks of life. When folks walk by and say, "How ya doing?" they don't want a sob story about how you backed into a mailbox on your way to work. They want to hear, "I'm fine, how are you?"
So when a group of Rotarians gathers to listen the WCHS football coach speak, what do you think people want to hear? Do they want to hear that it might be a trying season for our beloved Pioneers?
Absolutely not. As Jack Nicholson so famously said, we can't handle the truth.
During his speech last week to Rotarians, coach Tom Moore suggested WCHS football might not be on the verge of greatness this season. The term he used which has created so much unrest is the word "mediocre."
I think most of us are well familiar with language and realize mediocre is not a glowing term. It means average, unremarkable, ordinary.
In other words, it pretty much describes Warren County football over the last 25 years. For some Pioneer squads that would be an extremely generous term.
Back in my full-time sports days, I covered one WCHS team that went 0-10 and never had the lead at any point in the entire season. Not for one second of game clock.
Was that a mediocre team? Well, OK if you say so.
My point is I want to applaud coach Moore for giving us an honest assessment of this year's team. It doesn't mean the kids aren't out there working hard. It doesn't mean they aren't dedicated to Pioneer football. It means, when stacked against other teams, we're an average bunch.
When this football season is in the books in a few months, I think everyone in Pioneer land would pump their fists if we finished with a 5-5 record. That would be considered a building block for our football program for years to come.
Would it be a team of greatness at 5-5? Of course it would! It would be the greatest team ever. And you don't look fat in those jeans at all.