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Candidate with cat-like appeal
- Lisa Hobbs
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I usually don’t get involved in politics, but I have a friend who had a wonderful idea. Jan Shinpaugh says her cat would make a better presidential candidate than some currently running and I agreed with her.
Jan emailed me this:
“Oh, and my cat, Squeaky Mouse, has met with her PAC and is considering a run for president. As her loyal minion, I will keep you informed of her decision. Part of her platform will be daily naps for all.”
She had me at “nap.”  I told Jan if this cat runs for president, I would vote for her. Daily naps for all is definitely something of interest.
Sadly, a few days later, I received this: “After careful consideration and much pondering and sleeping, Squeaky Mouse has decided against a run for president,” Jan wrote.
I was devastated by the news. I was hoping for an interview when Squeaky Mouse makes her big announcement.
“We discussed this at length,” said Jan. “If she won the presidential race, the White House staff would have a hissy fit if she laid on all the furniture and left clumps of hair all over the expensive and beautiful rugs. After informing her of that, she was not amused.”
While daily naps for everyone would have been on the platform, she would have needed to continue her beauty rest routine of 18 hours a day even if elected.
“I also informed her that she couldn’t sleep 18 hours a day because there are certain duties with the office, such as meet and greets,” said Jan. “Along with that fact, she couldn’t run and hide under the Lincoln bed if she didn’t like someone.”
I found some cute cat sayings online that I wanted to share:
• “If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow, but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much” - Mark Twain
• “Woman and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea” - Robert A. Heinlein
• “I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior” - Tippolyte Taine
• “Cats know how to obtain food without labor, shelter without confinement, and love without penalties” - W.L. George
• “In nine lifetimes, you’ll never know as much about your cat as your cat knows about you” - Michel de Montaigne
• “Never try to out stubborn a cat” - Robert A. Heinlein
• “Any cat who misses a mouse pretends it was aiming for the dead leaf” - Charlotte Gray
• “If cats could talk, they wouldn’t” – Nan Porter
Without a doubt, cats can be very entertaining creatures. We may not have one as president, but cats do rule.
Standard reporter Lisa Hobbs can be reached at 473-2191.